QUESTION: I’m 34 years old and have a good job and a good home; I’m married to a wonderful man. I have bad anxiety, and I have no idea what I want from my life. I have low self-esteem and I get defensive easily. I’m rarely content or grateful. My thinking is so negative. I need approval from others.
ECKHART: This doesn’t seem to be a question but there’s a question hiding in there. First, I’d like to congratulate the questioner on her self-knowledge because she is aware that she’s anxious. Not everybody who’s anxious knows that they are anxious. They are just taken over by anxiety, and it is virtually their normal state. If you ask them, “Are you anxious?” they reply, “No, I’m not anxious.”
The question, “I have no idea what I want from my life,” looks like the beginning of the place of not knowing, which is good. “I have low self-esteem,” indicates that you have the awareness that you have low self-esteem. “I get defensive easily,” again, this indicates that you know that you get defensive; the question is… in the moment of getting defensive do you know that you’re getting defensive, or do you just know it afterwards? “I’m rarely content or grateful,” is a good self-observation, too. “My thinking is so negative,” is another good piece of self-knowledge. You can ask, in this moment, what other thoughts are going through my head?
If you apply this awareness to the present moment when these things arise – defensiveness, low self-esteem and anxiety — you’ll see that certain repetitive thoughts in the mind are the voice in the head that tells you – this is low self-esteem. There might be certain emotions that go with the thoughts, but the basis for low self-esteem is the thoughts that you tell yourself about your low self-worth. The questioner knows that she has low self-esteem, and if she can recognize the thoughts in the moment of low self-esteem arising, she may realize the repetitive, conditioned thoughts are not necessarily true. Perhaps, the low self-esteem started in childhood – it often happens to people whose parents are very critical or tell them they are never good enough. It might have started there; it’s a conditioned way of thinking.
The awareness that’s already present in the questioner needs to be there in the moment when these thoughts arise — to recognize them as thoughts — and then, you are no longer completely trapped in what these thoughts are saying. In other words, your sense of being is not in the thought anymore; it is in the awareness of the thought. To use an analogy, the vastness of the sky is your awareness and the clouds are your thoughts.
Remain the sky (the awareness) and allow the clouds (the thoughts) to come and go. You are the awareness behind the thoughts. This applies to any kind of negative thinking – it arises, you recognize it as automatic– it’s a thought. You are the awareness that knows this (low-self esteem) is a negative thought pattern. This way you are no longer feeding the conditioned thinking, so you are taking your identity out of thinking and no longer renewing old patterns.
If your awareness can grow, which means deepen, because it’s already there to some extent – then those conditioned patterns will diminish and get transmuted.
Another point mentioned in the question: “I get defensive easily,” defensiveness happens very quickly in human interactions; it’s an automatic pattern. You may only recognize it afterwards, and say, “That was defensiveness again.” These are all ways the ego tried to protect itself– the ego being the mind-made self. Defensiveness will come up with any lie just to keep its ego identity intact.
A Course in Miracles has a lovely saying, “Whenever you become defensive about anything, know that you have identified with an illusion.” That’s interesting. For example, you say that the distance from here to the moon is 350,000 kilometers or so – and the light takes just over one second to travel from the moon to the Earth. Then somebody else says, “No, that’s completely untrue; it actually takes one minute.” This is just a difference of opinion, but you know that the other person is wrong. If you say, “No, that’s not right,” is that defensiveness? It depends on how you say it. The question is…are you identified with your mind, which has a position that happens to be true, but are you identified with that mental position? Do you derive your sense of self from thought? If you’re identified with the thought, you will get angry and defensive with the other person who is completely wrong and you might say things like, “You always doubt me.” That’s the ego trying to protect itself.
The A Course in Miracles saying applies because you have identified yourself with an illusion. The illusion is not that it takes one second for light to travel from the moon to the Earth; the illusion is that you identified with the thought — a mind pattern — so you are strengthening an illusory identity by strengthening your mental position– that’s unconsciousness. This shows how a difference of opinion can degenerate into a huge conflict because the ego becomes defensive. Alertness is required on your part, so that you know when the ego arises.
The key is your awareness. When awareness deepens all those patterns you mentioned will weaken. There’s already a considerable amount of awareness in this questioner. The awareness isn’t the person, but it’s deeper than the person. You apply the awareness to the present moment when things arise, but not in some abstract way, for example, “Will I ever become a person who is not negative? I can’t get rid of my patterns,” that doesn’t matter; this moment is what matters. So just apply your awareness to this moment; you can’t change things into mental constructs – “How can I change, I don’t want to be that kind of person anymore?” Forget it! This moment is where you apply Presence. I sometimes say, “The sword of Presence that cuts through time.”
Joe Vitale Raw
My most recent global interview was raw, intimate, inspiring, practical, personal and surprising.
The host said –
“This was a magical episode — really, truly amazing. Please give Joe my tremendous thanks, was truly a pleasure to spend time with him and he is welcome back onto the show anytime. Easily in our top 10 best episodes ever.”
My dear friend Michael Abedin, publisher, author, editor, and so much more, passed away last month. I wrote this article for the tribute issue of his magazine, Austin All Natural:
“Take Your Time in a Hurry” Or, As Fast as Wayne Newton, As Slow as Wyatt Earp By Dr Joe Vitale
“Can I see the revolver?”
I’ve known Michael over ten years. We’ve shared everything from Cuban cigars to old Scotch, fast cars to great books, spirituality to marketing, Reiki to Bach Flower Remedies, to our lives personal ups and downs. He was the greatest storyteller I ever knew.
I had him MC my events, like Attract Money Now Live and the Advanced Ho’oponopono retreat. He was also the MC when I performed as a singer-songwriter on stage at The Townsend in Austin with my Band of Legends. He also published my feature articles for more than ten years, and put me on the cover of his magazine, Austin All Natural, more times than I can recall.
We got together often, and shared our struggles and triumphs, usually over a bottle of aged Scotch.
Once Michael visited my home and wanted to see the old Colt six shooter I own. It used to belong to actor and bodybuilder Steve Reeves. It was part of my collection of Reeves memorabilia. I had the revolver and the leather belt Reeves wore in spaghetti western movies like A Long Ride from Hell. Michael knew it and was eager to see it.
Michael put on the belt and put the gun in the holster. It fit his tiny waist. He looked ready to be in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
He walked around with attitude, the leather gun belt low on his hip, and looked like he was about to step into the O.K. Corral. With his long hair, boots, and jeans, he fit the part of old cowboy. Or an eccentric modern one.
Being Michael, he repeated advice from Wyatt Earp.
“Fast is fine but accuracy is final,” Michael said, paraphrasing the famous gun-slinging sheriff. “In a gun fight, you need to take your time in a hurry.”
“Take your time in a hurry.”
Michael and I loved the phrase.
It was a Zen-like reminder for every aspect of life: slow down but be aware.
Act but be present.
We both had a drink of Scotch to toast the old lawman and his wisdom.
“Have you ever fired it?” Michael asked, holding the Colt.
“Never,” I said. “It’s just part of my Steve Reeves collection. I never intend to actually use it.”
Michael stood and practiced his fast draw. While he convincingly looked the part, he wasn’t ready to be in a duel. He fumbled several times. The gun seemed to stick in the holster. Michael looked frustrated. He really wanted to get this right.
Because we were such close friends, I pulled out my phone and started filming him. That made him even more self-conscious.
He tried a few more times, doing his best to consciously will himself to be calm. He wanted to “take his time in a hurry.” He used his three decades of martial arts experience to center himself.
But he still withdrew the revolver too slow or too fumbling.
In a real gunfight, he’d be smoked.
“Pretend you’re Wayne,” I suggested.
“Wayne who?” he asked, his hand on the pistol.
“Wayne Newton,” I replied.
Michael stopped, his mouth agape, his eyes searching mine for meaning.
“Wayne Newton?” he repeated, baffled.
“I mean Wyatt Earp.”
“How did you get Wayne Newton out of Wyatt Earp?” he asked.
I shrugged. I didn’t really know. I was just trying to get him to loosen up.
I pointed to the now half empty bottle of Scotch.
Michael shook his head, took a deep breath, calmed himself, and pulled the gun out of the holster. It was smooth.
“Be slow in a hurry.”
He did it again.
Once he had the maneuver down pat, he stopped. But he spent the rest of the evening wearing the gun belt. We sat at the kitchen table, finishing our bottle of Scotch, talking, sharing, all with the gun on his hip.
On one level, it was surreal.
On another, it was simply Michael being Michael.
I loved him.
I miss him.
I comfort myself thinking Wyatt Earp, Steve Reeves and a long line of other greats, are gathered around Michael and listening to his stories. Maybe even watching him practice his quick draw.
And him reminding them, “Take your time in a hurry.”
Attract $175,000 Today
In 1931 Vash Young inherited a fortune.
This was during the Great Depression in the USA when much of the country lost jobs, savings, hopes, dreams, and more. Young was so grateful for his inherited fortune that he spent his entire life sharing it.
Last week I inherited his fortune.
Let me explain.
A friend of mine in the Miracles Coaching program told me about an old book he found that he thought I might like. But he couldn’t recall the title or author. He was obviously moved by the book. I’m a bookaholic, so I was interested, even without all the details. I asked him to send me the book’s info when he came across it. I didn’t think any more about it.
But last week my friend sent me a package. Inside was the mysterious book. The title is A Fortune to Share. The author was Vash Young. I had never heard of the book or the author. Since I was busy with projects, such as scheduling the launch of my new audio program (The Abundance Paradigm), and already had fifteen books to read either on my ipad or my desk, I just put the book aside. It would have to wait.
But the book wouldn’t wait.
Something about it called me to it. Maybe because the book was from 1931 and looked like a lost gem in self-help and self-improvement; maybe because I love success literature and this title seemed like it was from that category; maybe because I hoped the author had been a friend of a man I wrote about from that era, Bruce Barton, in my book The Seven Lost Secrets of Success; maybe because the author put a spell on the book. I don’t know. But before I knew it, everything else got pushed aside and I started reading A Fortune to Share.
Within minutes, I was captivated.
The book is written in the first person, with the author talking to me about his fortune and how it changed his life. The old Young of poverty and reckless living was gone; the new Young was now so rich that even the Great Depression couldn’t touch him.
His mission became the life-long quest to share his fortune with others.
I was riveted.
Young explained that you own a factory. Most of the time you make junk in that factory. As a result, no one buys from you. No wonder you were broke and struggling. No wonder life looked bleak. Your factory wasn’t producing what anyone wanted.
He went on to explain that the same factory could make gold.
In your mind.
In your mind!
As it turns out, the fortune Young inherited was the gold inside himself: his ability to control his thoughts, beliefs, moods, and attitude. He could let the factory of his mind create a life that was miserable, or he could take charge of that factory and get it producing new thoughts, beliefs, moods and attitude that he and others would want.
He inherited a mental fortune.
As long as Young accepted his fortune and shared it, everything he wanted would come his way, and without trying to make it happen.
Young literally did attract a financial fortune (he sold over $80,000,000 in life insurance) due to his discovery and his sharing. He went from a life of go-getting to a life of go-giving. (He later wrote a book titled The Go-Giver.) The more he gave, the more he attracted. His mission truly became one of sharing the mental fortune inside himself to awaken your own understanding that you have a mental fortune inside you, too.
While it’s easy to wish that Young’s fortune was all cash and he shared it by writing checks (which he often did, just not to you or me), what he actually gave us is something far more valuable: he pointed out you have a cash-making machine in your head.
In short, we attract “junk” when we think from selfishness and fear; we attract “gold” when we think and act with love.
A Fortune to Share contains much more information, and many wonderful stories. It’s a hypnotic read. Breezy. Easy. Fast. It also delivers some unforgettable wisdom, such as:
“Any experience can be transformed into something of value.”
“Prosperity can not be built on fear!”
For a long time, Young would hold “Trouble Day” every Saturday. He would let anyone walk into his office, dump their troubles on him, and then Young would do his best to help the troubled soul with his philosophy, and often with money.
In talking to an unemployed man one day, Young tells him, “You haven’t been unemployed all these months, you have been working for the wrong boss. You have been working for failure, discouragement, fear and worry and the sad part of it is that there has been no salary for your labors. You seem to be destitute, but I am going to tell you how to become rich overnight. I want you to deposit the following thoughts in your mental bank tonight: ‘I am not afraid – I am a success, not a failure – I have an inexhaustible supply of courage, energy, confidence and perseverance.‘”
Young helps the man out with a suit of clothes and a little money, and reminds him to draw on his new mental bank account when he needs it.
Within a week, the man has a job he loves.
Young’s first book was so sincere, helpful and timely that it became a national bestseller. He followed it with several others (which I have yet to read but eagerly await), including The Go-Giver, Be Kind to Yourself, and Let’s Start Over Again. All were bestsellers. All were booster rockets for a weary country suffering during the Great Depression of the 1930s. When Young was in his seventies in 1959, he wrote a final book summing up his philosophy of life, called Fortunes For All.
I found Fortunes For All and read it. Loved it, too. On the cover the publisher says, “Let Vash Young show you that your mind is worth $175,000 or more!”
How can your mind bring you $175,000?
Here’s the secret:
Young explains that instead of asking, “How can we have more?” we should ask, “How can we be more?”
He then invites you to try an experiment:
“Go off by yourself with a pad and pencil and write out your own ticket for a happy and successful life. By that I mean put down all of the things you would like to have or be.”
He adds, “After imagining every wish has been granted, then go one step further. Start in being the ideal person you think you would be if you had everything your way.”
Young’s philosophy of fortune basically said that once you began to be that happy, successful person now, then you would naturally attract all you wanted from the being.
Sounds a whole lot like step four in my book, The Attractor Factor, and step five in my book Attract Money Now, where I suggest you “Nevillize” a goal to help bring it into reality.
In other words, feel what it would be like to already have the thing you want or be the person you long to be. Feel it now.
But Young is also wanting you to be something greater than a satisfied person. He wants you to embody the traits of – dare I say it – God.
Decades ago in Houston I gave a talk where I encouraged people to think like God. I said God wouldn’t think in terms of lack and limitation. Why should you?
But Young wants you to act like God, meaning live love, compassion, forgiveness and all the other positive, enlightened states that a God would have.
Young was a great believer in taking action, too.
A chapter on selling in Fortunes For All proves that he sold such a staggering amount of life insurance by focusing on giving, thinking of others over himself, and following his being principle. But he also took non-stop action. Even when Young was on jury duty for three weeks, he still held the sales record for the month. How? He kept taking action.
All of this is so inspiring and powerful that I wish Vash Young was still alive so I could thank him in person. But I’ve inherited his fortune. And I’m sharing it with you. I’m hoping you will now share it with others, too.
Take control of your mind and you can live a life of magic and miracles – a life of good fortune.
It’s Vash Young’s inheritance.
It’s my inheritance.
And now it’s yours.
What do you think, anyway?
What is your factory producing?
Who’s the boss of your own mind?
Who are you being?
Enjoy your new fortune.
PS – Be sure to pass your fortune along to others by telling them about Vash Young, his books, and this blog post’s message. Together we can share the wealth, and make a difference in the world. Thank you.
Note: Receive all three Miracles Manuals free at www.miraclesmanual.com
Appreciate Yourself And Grow Your Self-worth…
Have you ever awakened in the morning and felt like you didn’t appreciate yourself to the fullest? We all have moments of self-depreciation or moments of not loving ourselves for who we are.
Every individual lives by a set of priorities or a set of values, a list of things that are most important to least important in our lives.
Appreciate Yourself by setting goals that are true to your highest values
Whenever we set a goal that is aligned and congruent with what we value most, our highest value, we increase the probability of achievement. Our self-worth and confidence go up and we believe in ourselves. We walk our talk and we tend to expand our horizons because we give ourselves permission to do greater things. We wake up our leadership capacities.
The blood glucose and oxygen goes into the forebrain, the executive center, where we have inspired visions, strategic planning and self-governance. When we have more objective reasonable goals we tend to achieve it more easily.
But whenever we set goals in our lower values and we try to set goals that are not that important to us, primarily as a result of comparing ourselves to other people and trying to be somebody else, we tend to achieve less goals.
“Envy is ignorance, Imitation is Suicide.”
The moment we try to compare ourselves to other people instead of comparing our own actions to our own highest values, we end up self-depreciative.
Because we are setting a goal we “think” is important to us, but it really is not. We are setting ourselves up for a fantasy because we are admiring somebody and injecting some of their ideals in to our lives and trying to be somebody were not.
“The magnificence of who you are is far greater than any fantasies you might impose on yourself.”
The second you set goals in your lowest values because of your comparisons to others and injections of other peoples’ values into your life, it clouds the clarity of your own values. When your own highest values are clouded you automatically set goals in your lower values, less fulfilling values.
You activate with blood glucose and oxygen the amygdala area of the brain. This area of the brain want to avoid challenge and seek support, avoid difficulty and seek ease.
So if it’s an easy goal you will do it! But if it becomes challenging you will give up.
This results in self-depreciation.
“The desire for that which is unavailable and the desire to avoid that which is unavoidable is the source of all human suffering.”
We end up suffering because we’re striving for a one sided world. Biased goals that are not objective, where you desire pleasure without pain, ease without difficulty, will leave you with feelings of not loving or appreciating yourself.
Instead it is wiser to embrace the responsibilities, accountabilities and challenges it takes to achieve greatness.
When you are embracing both sides of life, goals that are more objective and aligned with your highest values, you have a better chance of achieving it.
When you achieve your goals your self-worth goes up!
You self-worth goes down when you set goals in your lower values!
When you live according to your lower values you:
Shrink and don’t get around to do the tasks set out for the day
End up procrastinating, hesitating and frustrating yourself on your goals
Actually go to smaller immediate gratifying objectives and end up in sense not loving yourself
The key to love and appreciate yourself is setting real goals, truly objective goals, and goals that are truly yours.
To do incremental actions on a daily basis and to fill your day with high priority action, builds your self-worth. Doing something that is meaningful and inspiring each day will help you to appreciate yourself for who you are.
Then when you do achieve your goal, you appreciate and love yourself for what you can do. You go out and accomplish more and you make a difference in the world.
“Make sure the world on the outside don’t dictate to you what’s important to you on the inside and what is really meaningful to you.”
Fill your day with high priority actions that inspires you, and your day won’t fill with lower distracting uninspiring priorities.
One is inspiring – one is despiring!
One builds your self-worth – one erodes your self-worth!
When you’re eroding your self-worth and beating yourself up or not loving yourself, you feel as if the world is against you. You feel thing are in the way instead of on the way.
It’s important to priorities your life and stick to the things that are most meaningful and inspiring to you if you want to love yourself.
Start each week with a boost of inspiration from Dr John Demartini. To receive your Monday inspired quote click HERE.
How To Increase Your Energy Levels
Often people carry around so many tasks in their mind that they think they have to do, should have done, could do etc. The mental energy expended just thinking about this never ending to do list can leave you feeling drained, lethargic and completely overwhelmed.
To paraphrase David Thoreau:
Most people are living quiet lives of desperation, not invigorating lives of inspiration.
In other words not doing what they love nor loving what they do. They aren’t grateful so they are putting on the brakes in life and lacking the energy and vitality to live.
The body and mind are inseparable in their interactions. We need to be accountable for how our psychology may be affecting our overall health.
A short pencil is better than a long memory
In today’s fast paced world it is essential we learn how to delegate and not try to take responsibility for everything. I suggest putting this imaginary list on paper, reviewing it and then separate what only you can do from what you know you can give to someone else to do. Once you have done this you will not feel as overwhelmed and immediately more motivated.
Energy levels and Age
I have come to the conclusion that the level of energy one has in life is not so much connected to age as it is to state of mind.
Naturally when someone is coming to the end of their life and may be more susceptible to disease, they may not have the same reservoir of energy and vitality as someone in their middle ages. But I have seen human dynamos at age 94 to 99 still out doing people half their age.
The difference was their attitude and zest for life. They found what they loved to do and they do it.
Lack of energy
The people who are most at risk of ‘suffering’ a lack of energy are those who do not feel like they are living purposefully. People who tend to feel lost, overwhelmed and out of focus often lack energy. They are scattered and trying to live other people’s lives.
Simple solutions to have more energy
1. Know where you are going:
Your energy soars when you are clear on your aim and direction in life. When your heart and soul are guiding you energy abounds.
2. Delegate low priority actions
3. Be Thankful:
When you are grateful for all that you have rather than dwelling on all that you are lacking, you will discover a very powerful source of energy. Count your blessings daily.
4. Eat Moderately
Many people try to perk themselves up by pigging out but this is definitely not the way to do it. It has actually been shown that if you eat less you have an increase in vitality and overall energy. Biological research also shows people who eat less live longer. Walk away from the table a little less full and you will have a lot more spark to do the things you want to do.
5. Eat wholesome nutritious foods:
Become aware of what you eat. Be sure to “eat to live” not “live to eat”.
6. Drink Water
7. Breathe fully and deeply
8. Connect your vocation with your vacation:
If you aren’t doing what you love and loving what you do you have the brake on all the time.
Smiling can change your physiology and make you look up at life.
If you’d love to learn more about a living with more energy consider Dr Demartini’s brilliant CD: Adding Life to your Years and Years to your Life.
Start each week with a boost of inspiration from Dr John Demartini. To receive your Monday inspired quote click HERE.
Increase The Probability To Achieve Your Goals
Have you ever achieved or completed a long sought goal and then immediately felt a surge of confidence and began setting the next new one? Probably so! It can be quite exhilarating to accomplish and achieve significant goals in life.
But, did you ever notice that for this next goal that you set out to achieve, you probably raised the bar on it and made sure it was a bit more challenging. Our expectations and standards tend to climb as our goals become accomplished.
Some philosophers have even claimed that nothing of our senses tend to satisfy our soul. Our soul just keeps striving upward and onward possibly even toward what some have termed as the ‘infinite’.
Goals have a way of climbing in height
Goals have a way of climbing in height from those that are more easily reachable and almost immediately attainable to those that take either more effort and / or greater time. In most cases it has been shown that as our ability to attain our goals grows so does our confidence. In some cases we can even begin setting goals that are unachievable.
“How high can you climb you might ask yourself?”
That is a great question, for some have achieved some seemingly unbelievable feats. Often their sheer determination and patient perseverance have seen them through to their desired outcomes.
Misaligned goals cause disappointment
But, is there a part of us that can set goals that are unreal, misaligned with our true higher values and therefore unattainable. As a result we set ourselves up for an internal moral dilemma, the big let down, a crash or a feeling of defeat and burnout. This can and has certainly happened to some.
It is like in the sport of gambling for some people. If they win they probably bet again and often a little or lot more goes into the pot. But the odds are not really in the favor of the gambler. So the emotional high from their wins can become the very source of their lows the moment they lose.
Most people can handle approximately 10% fluctuations in their emotions without too much reaction. This means if they gain or lose 10% of their money they can handle this predicament without being too elated or distraught. But when those percentages climb higher so do their emotional reactions.
Set reasonable, moderate and realistic goals as you make your climb
So when your setting your goals, which I am assuming you already know are very powerful and useful in living a more fulfilling life, set them with reason and graduate them moderately and realistically as you make your climb. Make sure they are realizable and set on stable and steady ground, for the higher your expectation the greater your let down can become.
This is not to say that great expectations are not healthy. They can be. But they must be backed up with firm planning and methodical actions.
Goal planning worksheet
To assure that you have set reasonable goals, work through a goal planning worksheet to make sure that what goal you have set is truly achievable in the time frame that you have set it in. Work through any possible obstacles that might arise.
Guidance or mentorship from someone who has already been there or done that can be immensely helpful.
The more details that you plan the less likely you are to fail and the more you are able and likely to achieve.
A master of achievement is one who plans and focuses on ever-finer detail. If you can see your desired outcome in your mind in perfect detail before you begin your actions the more likely you are to achieve it.
It is wiser to climb one step at a time than to attempt to leap across huge gorges. By the inch, it’s a cinch. The seemingly unattainable can become attainable if you see it clearly, plan it methodically and simply stick with it!
If you’d love to learn more about setting goals aligned with your values to achieve more consider Dr Demartini’s online learning program: Application of Values for Achievement.
Start each week with a boost of inspiration from Dr John Demartini. To receive your Monday inspired quote click HERE.
7 Areas to Empower…
There are seven areas of life that we are here to empower:
Our spiritual mission;
Our mental genius/creativity;
Our vocational success, achievement, service;
Our financial freedom/independence;
Our family love and intimacy and continuance of procreation;
Our social influence and leadership; and
Our physical health, stamina, strength and well-being.
Any of these seven areas that we as individuals don’t empower will become overpowered by others. So any area of life that we don’t empower, somebody else will overpower.
We are not victims of their over-empowerment, we are simply not empowered and it is their over-powerment that in turn initiates and catalyzes our drive for inner-empowerment.
As Nietzsche proclaimed, we all have the will to power. Just as we as individuals have these yearnings for these powers, so do collective societies and nations. But now their descriptions also have to expand:
Our individual spiritual mission now becomes the dominant, spiritual/religious ideologies of a nation.
Our mental genius becomes our educational system.
Our goals for achievement and success become our GDP, our corporate entrepreneurial and national business development.
Our economics become the wealth of our nation, income per capita, again the stability of our national economics and the assets.
Our family stability is our marriage and divorce ratios and our fertility / mortality rates.
Our social influence is our influence on other nations around the world and our leaderships and
Our physical health and wellbeing becomes our healthcare systems, policing systems and military strength.
Now if a nation does not empower any of these seven areas, that area can be overcome and overpowered by other nations or groups. This applies to nations just as it applies to individuals.
The will to power and empowerment, although assumed to be about race, creed, colour, age or sex isn’t in fact limited by these factors.
There is always somebody from each race, creed, colour, age or sex that empowers their lives and is not overpowered.
It’s all about empowering yourself
The first step in empowering each of these areas is education. Success leaves clues and those individuals as well as those nations that have risen in power need to follow these clues. Awakening to and owning these traits and, developing and furthering these traits, and awakening these traits in each of the seven areas of life can both empower individuals and nations.
If we blame outer circumstances for why we are not empowered, we will hinder our empowerment, but if we start acting and doing the things that are proven to empower, we rise in power.
Instead of having individuals or nations sitting in the shadows of other individuals or other nations, it’s wise for individuals and nations to recognise that nothing is missing in them,particularly in their areas of competitive advantage and that they are just not acknowledging, awakening or honouring the powers they have.
Once they awaken these powers and recognise them, through awareness and education, each competitive advantage that each individual or nation has, can shine.
If we as individuals and nations concentrate on what we do have, and recognise our power and use it wisely, we will not become overpowered.
The moment the individual or nation realises that nothing is missing inside them and they value themselves, so does the world.
Empowerment is not what corrupts, it’s the fear of being overpowered that corrupts.
The anticipation of loss of power corrupts, not the gain of power.
Dr. John Demartini is a human behaviour specialist, educator, author and the founder of the Demartini Institute.
If you would love help on how to build confidence, contact the Demartini Institute: Solutions@DrDemartini.com
How to overcome anxiety
An anxiety can emerge when we have perceived (or misperceived) some form of challenging event in the past, have not balanced or neutralized it emotionally, and are experiencing its lingering primary, secondary, tertiary or compounded associations that have escalated it into a lingering fear that can be subtly reactivated by many of the not immediately obvious associated stimuli.
It acts as a feedback reminder that we have not balanced out our original perception (or misperception).
Anxiety can be dissolved
The cascaded and compounded anxiety can be dissolved by balancing or neutralizing this initial emotionally trying perception.
Anxiety is basically a fear.
Fear is the assumption that you are about to experience in the future through your senses or imagination, more pain than pleasure, more negative than positive, more disadvantage than advantage, or more challenge than support from someone or something.
It arises because of some stored past imbalanced perception or misperception. Any painful perception of the past can initiate a fear of it or something associated with it reoccurring in the future.
Let me explain anxiety by starting with a story.
Let’s say a two-year-old boy is in his living-room with his mother and father. The dad is wearing blue jeans, a white shirt, has brown hair and a mustache. The parents start arguing and a screaming match ensues. The boy doesn’t want to hear it and he doesn’t want to see it. He runs to his room, hides under his bed to protect himself and covers his ears with his hands and a pillow. He closes his eyes and tries to go to sleep to escape the conflict because he feels threatened, and is worried about losing one of his parents. He gradually goes to sleep as the fight calms down. The next morning the dad is off to work before the little boy is up. The mom comes and wakes up the child and they eat breakfast together. Then she takes him shopping to the grocery store.
At the grocery store they come across a friend who is a man about the same age as Dad. He is wearing blue jeans and a white shirt, has brown hair and a mustache. As they approach him, the mom greets him.
The two-year-old does one of two things. He either gets in front of the mom, turns his back to the man and tries to get mom’s attention away from the man, or he gets behind Mom to protect himself (this usually occurs if the dad had previously been aggressive to the child).
The child is disruptive, trying to distract the mom from interacting with the man, who walks off after a brief conversation. The child returns to being calm and playful and the mother goes down another aisle. Two aisles away she runs into another friend. This time it’s a man wearing blue jeans and a yellow shirt, and he has brown hair and a brown moustache. Now the child reacts again – not quite as severely, because this man isn’t wearing exactly what Dad was wearing when he was arguing with Mom. Again the little boy reacts and gets in front or behind the mom and the man walks off.
They go home, and a week later they go shopping again. This time they run into a man wearing blue jeans and a yellow shirt, with brown hair and no moustache. Two weeks later they go to a restaurant and there’s a man wearing blue jeans, a white shirt, with blonde hair and no mustache. Progressively over the weeks and months to come, a series of men in blue jeans, with different shirts, different hair colour and with or without mustaches initiate varying degrees of emotional reaction from the child because of the original, primary triggers. As the years go by, the child needs glasses early and starts to develop hearing problems. He also develops an anxiety disorder every time he is around men with blue jeans, yellow or white shirts, with or without mustaches, any of the variables that, accumulated together, trigger an anxiety or panic without anything going on.
This is called secondary and tertiary compounding of primary emotional triggers. It can be a childhood initiator, a relationship initiator as a teenager or a social or business-related initiator as an adult – these anxieties can affect anyone.
Anxiety as a result
Any highly charged emotional experience that hasn’t been neutralised can create secondary, tertiary and quaternary associations that can bring back subtle unconscious emotional feelings, affect sensory and motor responses and result in an anxiety panic disorder.
The more the compounding, the more unconscious the triggers can become. If secondary, tertiary and quaternary compounding continues, full-blown anxiety can be experienced with very subtle stimuli without even being directly related or even similar to the original trigger.
Unless we address the primary initial emotional perceptions and neutralise them or desensitise them, anxiety panic phobias can be a way of life.
If we find the common denominator and thread to all the things that trigger our anxiety, we can trace our associations back to their original sources.
They can then be neutralised with quality questions that dissolve the initial charge with the help of the Demartini Method® and then liberate the person from their lifetime of unconsciously triggered phobias and anxieties.
Start each week with a boost of inspiration from Dr John Demartini. To receive your Monday inspired quote click HERE.
5 Tips to Get New Clients for Coaches, Consultants and Trainers
Business is booming these days for personal business coaches and trainers as more and more people begin to realize the benefits of having an expert help them improve their mindset and more quickly reach their personal and professional goals.
Still, as with any business, knowing exactly how to get clients as a coach or trainer isn’t as simple as hanging up your sign and expecting them to come pouring in.
To succeed as a coach or a trainer, you’re going to have to learn how to find and enroll new clients.
To help you with this I’d like to give you five tips for how to find new clients and customers:
You might have heard it said that success is not about what you know but who you know.
And while this is not entirely true, it is very important.
In an industry such as coaching that is driven by personal connections and relationships, effective networking goes a long way in helping you find new clients.
1. Go to Events and Network
Get out of your home and go to events where success-driven people gather and go to events where your fellow coaches and trainers gather as well.
You don’t have to be overtly marketing yourself the whole time, but take time to get to know the people there and form connections with them.
In many cases, these connections can later turn into new clients in a variety of ways you might not even have anticipated.
My friend Ivan Misner, the Founder and former CEO of BNI, Business Network International, and author of Networking Like a Pro, says that networking consists of three steps or stages: Visibility, Credibility, and Profitability.
First, you have to show up and be seen. Introduce yourself to people.
The second step of successful networking is credibility.
You gain that by contributing something of value to the other person, often by making a promise and keeping it.
Ask people what they are working on at the moment or what their biggest challenge is at the moment, and then later you can refer them to a resource like a good book, or send them an article or introduce them to someone that can help them.
Once you have credibility in their eyes, then you can ask them for referrals for your coaching or training business.
They are becoming increasingly easier to find, and should be an integral part of your business plan for getting started.
These groups and the advice that they offer are able to help you grow your coaching/training business in a number of ways, including finding new clients.
Join one if you have the opportunity, and learn everything you can from it. You can also form your own.
2. Make Use of Advertising
It’s worked for businesses for decades, and now, thanks to services such as Facebook Ads and Google AdWords, it’s more effective than ever.
The advantage that Facebook Ads, AdWords, and a few others bring to the table is that they allow for highly specific targeting.
Rather than paying to send your ad out to the masses, you only have to pay to send it out to those that you have already identified as your target market.
If you’ve managed to carve out any sort of niche with your coaching and training business, this can be especially useful for gathering qualified leads that you can later convert into paying clients.
3. Offer a Loss Leader
My third tip for beginning to build a coaching practice is one I learned from David Wood, a very successful coach and trainer of coaches. It’s amazingly simple and amazingly effective.
You start by making a list of everyone in your life who has contributed to your success in any way—colleagues, teachers, mentors, friends, people at your church temple or mosque, past customers and clients.
Then you call them and say that you really appreciate the difference they have made in your life and that you have just become a coach, and as a way of thanking them for their contribution, you’d like to offer them a free coaching session.
In my experience and the experience of my students, almost everyone says yes, and then many of them, assuming you have provided real value in that coaching call or session, you can ask if they would like to continue and do additional sessions. If they say yes, you now have a new client.
In the business world, this is known as a loss leader. You are taking a loss on the first session or a sale item in a retail store, to gain a future stream of income.
You can also do this if you have a mailing list of any kind by offering a free group coaching call or webinar on a particular topic, such as how to lose weight, or how to become aware of and release the unconscious limiting beliefs you have that are holding you back in life.
The key is to make it available to the first 20 or 30 people that sign up, so you create an urgency and exclusivity to the event with the promise of some individual interaction.
4. Enroll New Clients Wherever You Are
I learned this from one of my friends named Marcia Wieder. I consider her the Queen of Enrollment. Here are a couple of her ideas that I have found useful.
#1: In order to be successful at anything, you need to connect deeply with what you care about.
And then communicate succinctly why they should care about it too. When talking to someone about your work, offer them a compelling invitation for them to join you.
The emphasis is on inviting. You have to offer them something they can participate in. The compelling part usually has to do with a sense of urgency around the offer, — which is usually around timing and a special price and scarcity.
But it always has to be the truth.
She once told me she is enrolling new clients all the time everywhere she is—even at the checkout counter of the supermarket or in line at Starbucks.
She strikes up a conversation with the person in from or in back of her and at some point asks the question: “Do you have a dream that matters to you?”
If they answer yes, she asks them more about it and tells them briefly how she can help them.
If they answer no, she mentions that people with passion and dreams live longer, happier lives, and then enrolls them in wanting a dream… that she can help them find and create.
Obviously, this question will work at any event you might be attending as well.
If you’re attending the right events, networking with the right crowds, and really just interacting with curiosity and a passion for what you are offering people, opportunities for telling people about your coaching practice or training are going to be everywhere.
You just need to be ready for these opportunities and capitalize on them when they do present themselves.
Learn How to Enroll New Clients From Me
I teach my proven methodology for helping others to get better results in my online and live Train the Trainer Program. This is my proven system to help you improve your business and increase your income.
Train the Trainer isn’t just for speakers, trainers, or coaches (or people who dream of pursuing one of those options). It’s for anyone who works with others and wants to make a difference by helping people aim higher, achieve more, and get the results they want.
Don’t just take my word for it. Learn how Train the Trainer changed people’s lives from this testimonial video:
You need to create a great elevator pitch – a short, 20-30 second pitch of your services that lasts about the same amount of time as an elevator ride.
Practice this pitch, hone away the parts that aren’t necessary, and learn to highlight the parts that seem to get people’s attention.
If you can pin down a great elevator pitch, you’ll be able to spark the interest of potential clients when the opportunity arises and convince them to give you their contact information.
In some cases, you may even be able to get them to sign up for your services right there on the spot.
Never just answer the question, “What do you do?” with, “I am a coach” or “I am a trainer.”
It tells people nothing.
Craft a statement that tells people in a compelling way who you work with, and how you serve them.
You want the statement to cause people to say, “How do you do that?”
My elevator pitch is this:
“I help authors, coaches, trainers, and entrepreneurs double their income while at the same time doubling their time off in two years or less.”
At first, finding new clients can be one of the most difficult parts of running a coaching or training business.
The real secret of how to find new customers and clients is that it takes consistent effort over time, but the effort is worth it because you get to make a significant difference in the lives of many people.
Which one of the methods I’ve shared with you today to get more clients for your coaching business will you try? Let me know in the comments.